Dear Maura: My sister insists she marry first but she’s not even engaged

She’s in a relationship but I don’t see her marrying this guy. Mam has spoken to me as well, and has asked me to hold on for a while to see what comes of the boyfriend she’s with now. If he doesn’t work out, she can’t expect me to hang on for her to find another long-term relationship.

It’s getting to me now because I see her as no way near a proposal. She’s 31 and I’m 29. There’s no hurry on me, I just feel I could be getting excited and making plans by now. Sometimes I do a few sneaky visits to bridal shops, but I only tell my bestie, nobody else. Mam would say something to her without meaning to cause a row.

I’m looking for advice — should I try to have a conversation with her about this subject or let things go as is. It’s not that big a deal if a younger sister gets married first, is it?

Answer: Your sister has this fixation with getting married before you. Walking up the aisle first seems important to her. It’s as if it comes with the territory of being the eldest. But sometimes, all the best plans unfold because things don’t fall into place. There’s nothing wrong with that.

She knows you’re engaged, yet she’s still holding on to the promise to walk up the aisle first. All you can really do is talk to her — but only when you get to the stage that you really are ready to get married.

There may be something else going on here. Does she think you’ve always had everything go your way? Perhaps reassuring her that you’ve always got her back may be a good starting point.

Email your problems to Maura O’Neill maura.oneill@sundayworld.com All pictures are posed by models